Taking Back Your Attention From Your Phone

You pick up your phone to check the weather. Twenty minutes later you have read three news stories, watched a few videos, answered two messages and still do not know the weather.

Phones are useful tools. They keep us connected to family, help us work and put a lot of information at our fingertips. They can also quietly scatter our attention across the whole day. If you would like your phone to serve you instead of the other way around, this post offers a simple reset you can start today.

Why phones are so hard to put down

Many apps are designed to keep you engaged for as long as possible. Endless feeds, notifications, red badges and autoplay all make it easy to keep scrolling. That does not make you weak. It means you are up against something built to hold attention.

Knowing this helps. You do not have to rely on willpower alone. You can change your settings and your surroundings so the phone pulls on you less.

The 24-hour phone audit

Before you change anything, spend one ordinary day simply noticing. Each time you pick up your phone, jot down a quick note on paper or in a single notes file:

• The time
• Why you picked it up. A specific need, such as a call or a map, or a habit, such as boredom or avoiding something.
• What you actually did
• How you felt afterward. Better, worse or the same.

Most phones also have a built-in screen time feature that shows total time and which apps you used most. Check it at the end of the day as well.

When the day is over, look at your notes. Ask yourself:

• Which uses truly helped me?
• Which uses left me feeling worse?
• When did I reach for the phone out of habit rather than need?
• What was I avoiding when I picked it up?

The answers usually point to two or three specific changes that would help most.

Tame your notifications

Notifications are invitations to stop what you are doing. Many of them are not urgent. Spend fifteen minutes going through your notification settings:

• Keep notifications from people who need to reach you, such as calls and messages from family.
• Turn off notifications from social media, shopping, games and most news apps.
• Turn off badges (the little red numbers) on apps that do not need your immediate attention.
• Use a focus or do not disturb mode during work, family meals and sleep, with exceptions for important contacts.

After a few days, you may notice your phone feels much quieter, and so does your mind.

Create phone-free zones and times

Choose a few places and times when your phone stays out of reach. Some common choices:

• The dinner table. Meals become more about conversation.
• The bedroom. Charge your phone in another room and use a simple alarm clock.
• The first and last half hour of the day. Start and end the day with something other than a screen.
• Time with your children. Put the phone in a drawer during play, homework help or bedtime routines.
• Your quiet time with God. If you use a Bible app, turn on do not disturb before you start.

Start with one zone. Once it feels normal, add another.

Rearrange your home screen

Small design changes reduce automatic tapping:

• Move social media and other attention-heavy apps off your home screen into a folder.
• Put useful tools such as your calendar, notes and maps on the first screen.
• Log out of apps you want to use less, so getting in takes an extra step.
• Consider removing an app from your phone entirely and only using it on a computer.

The goal is not to make your phone useless. It is to make the most helpful uses the easiest ones.

Replace, do not just remove

If you only take something away, the empty space often pulls you right back. Think about what your phone use was doing for you, then choose a better way to meet that need:

• If you scroll to unwind, keep a book, puzzle or sketchbook nearby.
• If you scroll when bored in lines or waiting rooms, try praying for the people around you or simply looking around.
• If you scroll to feel connected, call or text one friend directly instead.
• If you scroll to avoid a task, try a ten-minute start on that task instead. Why You Put Off the Things You Care About Most explains why that helps.

For more on changing the setup around you, read Arrange Your Home So Good Habits Are the Easy Choice. It pairs well with phone-free zones.

Frequently asked questions

How much phone use is too much?

There is no single number that fits everyone. A better question is whether your phone use is crowding out sleep, relationships, work or rest, and whether it leaves you feeling better or worse.

Do I need to delete social media to use my phone less?

Not necessarily. Turning off notifications, moving apps off your home screen and setting phone-free times often help a lot. Some people choose to delete certain apps, and that is a valid choice too.

What is the easiest first step?

Turn off non-essential notifications. It takes about fifteen minutes and immediately reduces the number of times your phone interrupts you each day.