The GROW Model: A Coaching Framework You Can Use on Yourself

When you are stuck on a problem, it is tempting to look for someone to tell you what to do. Sometimes that helps. But often the most useful answers come from asking yourself better questions.

The GROW model is a widely used coaching framework built on four simple steps: Goal, Reality, Options and Will. Coaches use it to help clients think clearly and move forward. You can use it on yourself, too, for almost any challenge. This post explains each step and walks through an example.

What the GROW model is

GROW stands for:

• G: Goal. What do you want?
• R: Reality. Where are you now?
• O: Options. What could you do?
• W: Will. What will you do?

The power of the model is in its order. Many people jump straight to options, brainstorming solutions before they are clear on what they want or what is really happening. GROW slows you down just enough to think well, then moves you toward action.

G: Goal

Start by getting clear on what you want. The goal might be for the long term or just for this conversation with yourself.

Questions to ask:

• What do I want to achieve?
• What would success look like?
• Why does this matter to me?
• How will I know when I have reached it?

Write your goal in one clear sentence. If it feels vague, keep refining. "Be healthier" might become "Have enough energy to enjoy evenings with my family."

R: Reality

Next, take an honest look at where you are now. This step is about facts, not judgment.

Questions to ask:

• What is happening right now?
• What have I already tried? What happened?
• What is getting in the way?
• What resources, skills and support do I have?
• What am I assuming that might not be true?

Many people find that simply describing reality clearly brings new insight. Sometimes the real obstacle is different from what you expected.

O: Options

Now brainstorm possible ways forward. At this stage, aim for quantity. Do not judge or rule anything out yet.

Questions to ask:

• What could I do?
• What else could I do?
• What would I do if I had no fear of failing?
• What would I suggest to a friend in this situation?
• Who could help me?

Try to list at least five options, even if some seem unlikely. Unusual options sometimes spark the best ideas.

W: Will

Finally, decide what you will actually do. This step turns thinking into action.

Questions to ask:

• Which option will I choose?
• What is my first step, and when will I take it?
• What might get in the way, and how will I handle it?
• Who will I tell, or who can support me?
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how committed am I? If below 8, what would make it higher?

Write your first step with a specific time. "I'll call the gym on Monday at lunch" is far more likely to happen than "I'll look into the gym."

A worked example

Imagine someone who feels overwhelmed by clutter at home and wants to use GROW to think it through.

• Goal: "I want our living room and kitchen to feel calm and usable, so I can relax in the evenings."
• Reality: "The kitchen counters are covered with mail and school papers. The living room has piles of laundry and toys. I've tried big weekend cleanups, but the clutter comes back within a week. I'm tired in the evenings, and no one else in the family has clear jobs."
• Options: "Do a fifteen-minute reset every evening. Create a mail station. Give each child a toy basket. Hold a family meeting about chores. Donate things we do not use. Hire a cleaner once a month."
• Will: "I'll start with a mail station this weekend and a fifteen-minute evening reset with the kids starting Monday. I'll raise chores at our family meeting on Sunday. Commitment: 8 out of 10."

Notice how the process turned a vague frustration into a clear, doable plan.

Your GROW worksheet

Try it now with a challenge you are facing. Take twenty minutes.

1. Goal: Write what you want in one sentence.
2. Reality: Write three to five honest sentences about where you are now.
3. Options: List at least five possible actions.
4. Will: Choose one option, write your first step with a time and rate your commitment.

Keep your worksheet and revisit it in a week to see what progress you have made.

When to bring in a coach

Self-coaching with GROW can be very helpful. Sometimes, though, it helps to have someone else ask the questions. A coach can notice patterns you miss, challenge assumptions and encourage you along the way.

Coach Sharon brings years of coaching experience and practical wisdom from God's Word to her U R Amazing Workshops. If you would like to talk about coaching, contact us. And if you are unsure whether coaching or counseling fits your situation, Coach, Counselor or Therapist: Which Kind of Help Do You Need? can help you decide.

For more on setting goals that last, see Setting a Goal You Will Still Care About in Three Months.

Frequently asked questions

What does GROW stand for in coaching?

GROW stands for Goal, Reality, Options and Will. It is a simple framework for clarifying what you want, understanding where you are, exploring possibilities and committing to action.

Can I use the GROW model on myself?

Yes. You can work through each step on paper for almost any challenge. It is especially helpful when you feel stuck or are not sure where to start.

How long does a GROW session take?

A self-coaching session can take as little as fifteen to twenty minutes. More complex challenges may benefit from revisiting the steps over several sessions.